TRANSCRIPT

‘And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom’ 

 

My name is Kathy Hoolahan.  Hello and welcome to my very first Podcast, Raised by an Invisible Village.  The first of many more podcasts to come, where I will be taking you on this crazy journey of my life story, and along the way, you won’t just hear my voice, but will be introduced to the many many characters that have formed my invisible village.

 

This quote from Anais Nin,  ‘And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom’ ……. …was given to me on a beautiful card from my manager, that day, I had to resign from a job I absolutely loved!!  That day also meant, leaving my friends, my life, my support network – why? Well, I had 2 little boys, and to keep us safe, it meant escaping in the middle of the night from a violent then husband.  

 

This was over 25 years ago, and that card, those words have stayed with me forever.   In fact, I framed it and kept it on my desk………….. Those words always seemed to have meaning and purpose, but I really didn’t truly appreciate how those words would have significance, purpose and relevance …… until now.

 

So here I am, 50 years of age, a wife to an amazing man, a mother of 2 incredible sons, 28 and 33, step mum to 2 beautiful, intelligent girls, 18 and 25, a friend to a diverse group of loyal, funny and colourful individuals, upheld a successful career and now, well….. in a position not afforded most people, time!  Time to reflect! Time to be grateful! Time to enjoy the simple things in life, time to travel and well, why I am here is to finally tell my story.

 

Its confronting, its real, authentic and I know that for you as a listener or reader, there will be many many times that it will be excruciatingly uncomfortable and in some instances unbelievably sad, it may even activate your own memories and experiences from events that happened to you in the past or even things that maybe happening for you right now, but MOST of all, as I take you through this ride, is the opportunity for YOU to recognise and appreciate the extraordinary characters that make up your own Invisible Village.  I know that even for myself, this journey back in time, will be at times unbelievably challenging – BUT I have purpose!!  

 

‘It takes a village to raise a child’, I am pretty sure that most people listening will have heard that saying, but have you ever considered that it is many Villages filled with diverse characters, that together allow us to feel safe and connected, regardless of how old we are.  To rise above chaos and dysfunctionality AND prove that it is not permanent, we need to acknowledge the Village, the Invisible Village that surrounds us.  Those people who help shape us, take us in, provide soft landings, but most of all, believe!!  Belief that you can be a great parent! Belief that you are intelligent and capable!  Belief that healthy relationships and friendships are possible!! Belief that dysfunctionality is not permanent!!  Belief that you have a story to tell! 

 

Why would you want to hear or read my story?  Why is my story different?  I am not a celebrity, actor or singer. I am not really the one that enjoys the limelight or being on stage, being the centre of attention.  What I know is that I am a success story!! But I didn’t become a success story without my diverse invisible village.  And for all those varied, colourful characters that contributed to my rollercoaster ride of life, I am eternally grateful.  There were many pathways and choices along the way that could have resulted in life consequences of drug addiction, suicide success, my children being removed and/or living on the streets, however, there always seemed to be someone in my invisible village that diverted my attention.   

 

My story is different, because I am telling it!!  Perhaps from my own ego state, I am not sure, but what I do know is that I have found the confidence and okayness to have a voice.  I want my story to vibrate and normalise with women from all backgrounds, those who can’t quite figure out why they are suffering personally, yet can maintain complex successful careers, I want that young single mum to be inspired to find the energy to believe someone will raise her up, I want that person who is suffering from a violent relationship or some type of trauma to find those invisible villages who will help them escape, I want those who have and continue to live with rejection, loneliness and isolation to be empowered to find that one person who believes in them.  Dysfunctionality does not have to be permanent – finding or even just recognising characters in your own invisible village can open your eyes and mind to what can and is possible.

 

I was born in Alice Springs, the true Aboriginal name being Mparntwe (m’barn-twa), belonging to the Arrernte people, traditional owners.  For those that don’t know where that is located, it’s in the middle of Australia, surrounded by 1000’s of km’s of harsh Red Desert, but filled with a stunning landscape of mountains, beautiful green desert bushes, stunning desert flowers and nestled under the hills, water holes that seem to appear from nowhere.  The Town itself has a population of around 25,000 people, but the extended population are those who reside in numerous remote communities, often 1000’s of km’s from the centre of Alice Springs accessible by 4wd along bumpy, dusty red dirt tracks.  Although I no longer live in Alice Springs, it always still feels like home.  My sense of belonging to the earth, the smell of the bush and the enormity of looking up at the billions of stars that fill the sky at night.  Those things never leave your soul.  Why I am sharing this with you is going to make a whole lot of sense in the next few series.

 

Although I am not Aboriginal, my connection to Aboriginal people is deep and founded on the countless people within this Invisible Village, who took me in, were my many voices when I did not have one and provided me with what I felt to be a family .  Some would describe me as having a black heart.  This blonde, white skinned girl, referred to as Sista, Aunty and Nanna, grew up in an environment that I feel very privileged to have been part of a community that still to this day is immersed in tradition and culture.  My profound respect and gratitude extends to being the mother of a Pitjantjatjara, Yankunytjatjara, Pertame man from Central Australia, my gift as a teenager mother at 17.  I would again at 21, become mother to another son, another gift and purpose for life. 

 

My story of being Raised by an Invisible Village, will bring you on a journey of what it was like to be born into a Jehovah Witness family.  A childhood secluded from the outside world, isolated and filled with indoctrinations that are so embedded into your body and mind, that reprogramming normality takes almost a lifetime.  To the moment I was ousted at 12 years of age and the subsequent dark events of homelessness, rape, welfare, rejection, abuse and crushing loneliness.

 

All through this period of time though, I had my Invisible Village.  Many many amazing people who came in and out, seemingly at the right time, to provide a safe passage to get to the next phase of life.  I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t know where I was going, I didn’t know what life would bring next.  As I reflect back on this part of the journey, I feel incredibly grateful to those who were many, on all that they did for me.  To the boy next door (now a grown man, who reached out to me on Facebook, only to tell me that he remembered me as a little girl, sleeping on their family lounge, as his parents had wanted to keep me safe and years later always wondering what had become of me.  He is one of many people that have reached out to me – facebook has enabled a lot of reconnections.

 

By the age of 16, I had attended 10 different schools and over a 25 year period, had relocated 25 times.  At the age of 10, my eldest son had attended 6 different schools, and at that stage, my youngest of 5 and changed schools 3 times in his first prep year.  Chaos and dysfunctionality was normal, just surviving to ensure that my sons had a safe home and food was my absolute focus.  So when the opportunity came to buy a house, a home with my then 2nd husband,  it was a place that became my absolute beacon of success.  A defining moment when you know that it belongs to you, a home, sanctuary for my boys.  In later years, after divorcing, I was able to secure the same house, this time in my name only!!  Another significant moment in time, that was enabled by another Village, my professional invisible village.   And well that is just another story of many stories of how my career unfolded.

 

What I want most for you, is to know that your time will come when dysfunctionality is no longer dominating your life.  Your Invisible Village is around you, just as it was and continues to be for me.  Identifying the characters that have formed your Invisible Village is warming and I hope like it has for me, a sense of gratitude. 

 

Over the next 12 months, my partner of 12 years (and husband for 2 of those years) and I will be travelling Australia in our caravan.  Apart from wanting to see our beautiful country, the primary purpose will be to visit those many people who formed my invisible village, particularly in my early years of life.  To share their stories and our conversations!!  I am absolutely positive that there will be lots of surprises along the way.  The memory has a strange way of blocking information, past experiences and people!!  I want to capture, many of those moments in the most authentic way, keeping it real!!

 

So here we are with the privilege of time.  Time to travel from the East to the West and back.    Time to say thank you to my invisible village.  I am grateful.

I invite and welcome you into my story.  

 

Raised by an Invisible Village.

 

Creating a safe and connected space for you and I ☺